Contacting Site Members

Seen someone you like? Take the initiative and drop them an email.
Who knows where it might lead... perhaps to a lifelong friendship, perhaps up the aisle!

  • How do I contact someone?

    When viewing a profile on the screen just click on the email icon. You must have a fully completed profile to contact other members.

  • Does my email address get passed on if I make contact?

    No, we never pass on your email address. Nor should you pass on any contact details (e.g. phone numbers, address etc.) until and unless you are entirely comfortable doing so. (See Privacy)

  • What should I write? How much detail should I include?
    Think carefully about the message you wish to send. So much is revealed by the content (or lack of content) in your introductory email. There's no need to be shy or nervous. An icebreaker can be to say why you like the person's profile, things you think you may have in common... the more you communicate the more likely you are to receive a reply.

    Please treat members with respect - we won't hesitate to block messages and remove profiles.

  • Some things to avoid

    • Asking to meet up in your first message generally gets the thumbs down... the site is designed so that you can swap emails and take it from there. It sends out a bad signal if your first contact says 'let's meet up' or 'here's my number - 07947 *3*4*33 - call me and we can meet'. Any first messages asking to meet may be deleted.
      (See also Dating Tips)

    • Giving out your email address, messenger identiity or phone number immediately, or asking for others to do so can put people off, as most members prefer to communicate through the site until they're happy giving out contact details. Remember that some people (even if you're happy giving out your contact details) feel more secure communicating initially through the site. Let people take things at their own pace.

    • Dodgy one liners such as 'Hi', 'You lok nice', 'U R 1 sexy lady - call me now' or 'let's get together' with no other message or context tend not to go down too well.

    • Unsolicited sexual advances are a definite no-no. Respect other members. If you're just looking for sex go elsewhere. If you receive a contact you think inappropriate please report it to us.


    • Harrassing members with repeated messages when they've not responded, or bombarding them with messages before they may even had read the first message. It's not clever, it's impolite and it won't reflect well on you.

    • Bulk emails can be spotted a mile off - they don't say anything about the profile of the person they're sent to, they shout out I'm mailing everyone, even tho' I think you're so special!. We operate spam filters and bulk messages will be automatically removed.

    Failure to observe these protocols may result in your mail being deleted and/or your profile removed.

  • Give people space - not everyone's online all the time - give people a chance to respond... and it they don't, respect their space.

  • Blocking members - hopefully you won't need to - but you can block members, preventing them from being able to contact you(see below), or report anything you feel is inappropriate to us.

  • Rating Contacts

    You can rate a contact on a scale or 1-9. We'll use this data to compile data about the quality of contacts.

  • Restricting contacts
    You can restrict who can contact you by using the Restrict Contact function. e.g. only members aged 25-35, only members with photos etc.

  • How long does it take for a message to be sent?

    Messages are sent immediately from our server - usually they will appear in the recipient's email account within minutes or seconds, although it depends on the email account and the provider.

  • My message was not sent...

    If you spend more than twenty minutes typing into the box before clicking the button to send you may be logged out and the message lost.

  • Why am I unable to contact people?
    If you may be unable to contact users on the site it is likely to be for one of the following reasons:

    • You have yet to confirm your email address
      You do this by clicking on the link sent to you in your registration email. If you have lost this email you can generate a new one here. This is to ensure you are who you claim to be and not... the queen of Spain? (you'd be suprised how often she tries to register under a false email address, quite disturbing really).

    • You have not completed your profile.
      You must complete at least part of your profile before contacting other users. This is so other members know who you are!

    • The member has set contact restrictions

      Some members choose to restrict who can contact them - e.g. only members aged 25-35, only members with photos etc.. (See Restrict Contact)

    • Blocked by a system administrator
      We may be pussycats most of the time but we can be tigers when required. If you have broken the terms and conditions we will block you immediately. This means abusive behaviour, inappropriate language or any of the evil things outlined here. We want the site to be a fun and safe environment for singles to mix and mingle.

  • How will I know when someone contacts me?
    When you are contacted by another user on the site, you'll receive an email from giving you details of the message and a link to the users' profile on the site.

  • What if I don't want to reply?

    If for any reason you don't want to reply to a contact there is no obligation to write back. We do, however, encourage people to drop a brief line back out of courtesy, perhaps just words to the effect that it's not quite what you're looking for.

  • How do I stop people contacting me?
    You can at any stage stop users contacting you by blocking them....

  • I blocked my friend by mistake, what can I do?
    To view a list of users you have blocked and to access commands to unblock them visit the blocked users page.

FAQs / Contacting Site Members
Last updated : 12/05/11